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Category Archives: Relationships

Sex in the Bible

20 Friday Jul 2012

Posted by Keller Quoter in Love, Marriage, Relationships, Sex

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Tim Keller

The Christian attitude toward sex is popularly thought to be the Platonist view, but most definitely it is not. It differs quite radically from each of these three prominent views.

Contrary to the Platonist view, the Bible teaches that sex is very good (Gen. 1:31). God would not create and command something to be done in marriage (1 Cor. 7:3–5) that was not good. The Song of Solomon is filled with barefaced rejoicing in sexual pleasure. In fact, the Bible can be very uncomfortable for the prudish.

Contrary to the realist ‘sex-as-appetite’ view, the Bible teaches that sexual desires are broken and usually idolatrous. All by themselves, sexual appetites are not a safe guide, and we are instructed to flee our lusts (1 Cor. 6:18). Our sexual appetite does not operate the same as our other appetites. To illustrate this point, C. S. Lewis asks us to imagine a planet where people pay money to watch someone eat a mutton chop, where people ogle magazine pictures of food. If we landed on such a planet, we would think that the appetite of these people was seriously deranged. Yet that is just how modern people approach sex.

Contrary to the romantic view, the Bible teaches that love and sex are not primary for individual happiness. What the Bible says about sex and marriage ‘has a singularly foreign sound for those of us brought up on romantic notions of marriage and sex. We are struck by the stark realism of the Pauline recommendations in 1 Corinthians 7 . . . but [most of all by] the early church’s legitimation of singleness as a form of life [which] symbolized the necessity of the church to grow through witness and conversion.’

The Bible views sex not primarily as self-fulfillment but as a way to know Christ and build his kingdom. That view undercuts both the traditional society’s idolatry of sex-for-social-standing and the secular society’s idolatry of sex-for-personal-fulfillment.

- Tim Keller

Real God

16 Monday Jul 2012

Posted by Keller Quoter in Relationships, Suffering, The Reason for God

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Tim Keller

Only if God can say things that make you struggle will you know that you have met a real God and not a figment of your imagination.

- Tim Keller

The Gospel and Sexual Relationships

11 Wednesday Jul 2012

Posted by Keller Quoter in Christian Life, Relationships, Sex, The Gospel

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Tim Keller

The moralist tends to see sex as dirty or at least a dangerous impulse that leads constantly to sin. There will be an approach-avoidance relationship with sex. The uneasy conscience of the moralist will lead to either complete avoidance OR to a very driven, breathless need for sexual experience. Both come from a glory-vacuum within, which makes sex into a way to fill the emptiness. On the other hand, the hedonist sees sex as merely biological and physical appetite. Thus the hedonist may be less convoluted and troubled about sex, yet they have also given up on the deep longing of their heart to have union with someone sexually that is completely, unconditionally, and permanently true to them.

But the gospel shows us that sexuality is to reflect the self-giving of Christ. He gave himself completely without conditions. So we are not to seek intimacy sexually but then hold back control of our lives. If we gives ourselves sexually we are to give ourselves legally, socially, personally – utterly. Sex is only to happen in a totally committed, permanent relationship of marriage. Through Christ’s transformation of us, that ideal is somewhat realizable even between two sinners.

- Tim Keller

The Gospel and Family Relationships

09 Monday Jul 2012

Posted by Keller Quoter in Christian Life, Relationships, The Gospel

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Tim Keller

Moralism can make you a slave to parental expectations. The two ways you become a slave under moralism is that either you are so bound to please your parents that you can’t live without continually thinking of them, or you are so mad at them for their control or neglect of your life that you cannot live without thinking of them. To be living either in action OR reaction to them all the time means that you are still a slave to their view of you. You are haunted by it either way. On the other hand, hedonism sees no need for family loyalty or the keeping of promises and covenants if they do not ‘meet my needs.’

The gospel frees you from making parental approval an absolute or psychological salvation, pointing out how God becomes the ultimate father. Then you will be neither too dependent or too hostile to your parents.

- Tim Keller

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